Hold Me Tight® Couples Workshops
Blog Layout
Getting Help Makes Good Sense
Last night, in the kitchen, I opened the cabinet under the sink to find everything wet. A water line had sprung a slow drip, drip, drip leak and I had a mess on my hands. Now, I can do simple repairs around the house. I repaired our toilet yesterday. I installed a ceiling fan recently. But, plumbing is above my pay grade.
So, I had three options. First, I could ignore the problem. It was a slow leak. I could just put a bucket under it and empty it every few days, or just keep wiping up the puddle. Maybe, magically, it would just fix itself. Not likely…and the problem would certainly, eventually get worse.
Second, I could try to fix it myself. I considered that for maybe a half a second. Bad idea. As I said, plumbing is not my specialty. I know just enough about faucets and pipes to be dangerous. That leaky pipe is corroded. One wrong move and the minor leak could become a minor flood. A great movie line says, “A man’s got to know his limitations.” Plumbing is one of mine. Fixing the leak myself is not an option.
My third option then is the best, and really the only reasonable one: call a plumber. A plumber has forgotten more than I’ll ever know about leaky pipes. Their experience and expertise will keep a small problem small. What would be insurmountable for me is a quick fix for a trained plumber.
So, as I write this, I’m waiting for the plumber. That is, in fact, what most people would do. It makes sense, whether it’s plumbing, auto mechanics, lawn care, even medical care. Most people are smart enough to get skilled help for things they’re not equipped or experienced to do themselves.
So, if that is common practice for most people, why then, why is that not the case when it comes to relationships?
Why do so many couples struggle with conflict, disconnection, hurt or betrayal and insist on either ignoring the problem as it only gets worse, or trying to fix it on their own?
Relationship problems ignored only get more entrenched and intractable. They seldom, if ever, fix themselves. And trying to fix those problems on our own often only makes matters worse. For too many couples, the thought of getting help is proof that they’ve failed or they’re foolish. So they labor on alone, embarrassed to reach out and slowly losing hope.
Trust me, the only failure is in knowing that help is out there but not getting it.
And help is indeed out there. Hold Me Tight®️ is reliable, time tested, solid help for any relationship, whether you’re in deep distress or you just want to make a good relationship better. A Hold Me Tight®️ couples retreat can simplify complex problems and patterns and help you make sense of what often makes no sense when you and your partner conflict. At Hold Me Tight®️, you’ll learn from experienced professionals who have helped hundreds of other couples tackle issues that all couples face. You don’t have to fix it on your own anymore.
Don’t ignore messy relationship problems that will only get worse. And don’t struggle along trying to fix them on your own. If you keep doing what you’ve done, you’ll keep getting what you’ve gotten. That’s why many couples throw in the towel, all for lack of help that is as close as this website!
Our next Hold Me Tight®️ couples retreat is August 9 & 10. Help is at your fingertips. Be smart. Sign up today!
- Learn more about Mark and Vicki.
- Sign up for our contact list.
- Prepare for a transformational experience.
Have a Safety Plan
All relationships need regular maintenance. Hold Me Tight is a great way to keep a relationship healthy.
Hold Me Tight couples retreat helps couples learn solution focused relationship skills
A Hold Me Tight Couples retreat in Florida helps couples learn what is happening beneath the surface when they conflict.
What makes relationships last? Those couples in their twilight years, still together, still holding hands, still in love—we love to see those couples. And we’d love to be one of those couples. But, they are definitely a minority. Fewer than five percent of couples last fifty years. For that matter, only 40 percent make it 25 years. And, while longevity is definitely not proof of a happy couple, it’s still a good question: what does it take for love to last?
Hold Me Tight teaches couples how to stay together through tough times and be glad they did.
What is a sign of trouble in a relationship? Lots of people might say conflict is a red flag. But that’s not necessarily so. Conflict is fairly inevitable. No two people can agree on everything all the time. Indeed, who would want to? Conflict isn’t the problem. It’s conflict that escalates. It’s conflict that becomes combat, conversations that become confrontations. Now, THAT spells trouble. The renowned relationship researcher John Gottman discovered that roughly two thirds of what couples disagree on…they’ll never agree on. Matters of taste, opinion, personality, preference are what he calls “perpetual problems.” And couples can be perfectly happy “agreeing to disagree.” In fact, Gottman says that the goal with these issues is not to win the argument or get your way. Life is not always a zero sum game. The goal is to maintain a dialogue. Keep the conversation going where you listen, not to win; you listen to learn. Couples who can respect their partner’s different viewpoint can actually enrich each other, even as they disagree. But, what about conflict where someone feels hurt, unheard, unimportant, unwanted? What about when a transgression has occurred? That’s a different type of conflict, but every couple has faced it. This is more often where and when conversations become confrontations and conflict becomes combat. This is where conflict often escalates.
Picture this pleasant scenario with your partner: you have a complaint. You’ve tried to overlook it, but you’re fed up. You’re irritated, so your complaint has a critical edge. “Why don’t you ever get home from work on time? You’re always late.” Your partner, feeling unfairly blamed, is understandably defensive. “I’m not always late. And why are you so negative?” You might trade these attack/defend barbs for a while, neither feeling heard. But, then someone raises the bar and things get hotter. “You’re so self-centered. Why in the world did I marry someone so thoughtless?” “Me self-centered? That’s insane! You are disgusting!” Now, the gloves are off. You’ve escalated and things have gotten personal…you’re going for the jugular. This is intense and painful and will likely last until someone taps out. “That’s it; I’m done! I’m out of here.” One of you shuts down and becomes a stone wall. The conversation stops, but not the conflict. Maybe for an hour or a day, or longer (I’ve seen it last for years) it’s a Cold War, or at least an uneasy truce. Slowly, the smoke clears and eventually things get back to a kind of normal—until the next explosion. And the more it happens, the further apart you and your partner become, to harder it is to reconnect and the more desperate your love feels. Sound familiar? You’re not alone.
Committed couples aim for the top attending a Hold Me Tight couples retreat in Florida
Let’s say you’re going on a road trip. You need several things. You need to know where you want to go and you need a vehicle that will get you there. You can have a wonderful destination in mind. You may even have a brand new car—reliable, well equipped and full of gas. And you can be ready and willing to go. But you won’t make it without one more thing. You have to know HOW to get there. You need directions. Just to get behind the wheel and start driving is a bad idea. As they say, “Failing to plan is planning to fail.” Without directions, eventually, however hard you might try, you’ll probably end up lost.
A Hold Me Tight couples retreat in Florida is better than cards or candy at Valentine's Day