You’ve been stampeded by what John Gottman calls the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse (Criticism, Defensiveness, Contempt and Stonewalling). It’s a familiar and troubling pattern for countless couples in conflict. Gottman has discovered in his decades of research that the Four Horsemen will eventually destroy any relationship if couples don’t corral them.
Strange as it sounds, conflict management is key to any happy relationship. Conflict happens—and, strangely enough, conflict is not a sign of trouble. Rather, how we manage it tells the tale.
Couples who can’t learn to change the conversation, go deeper and understand what’s really going on when they spark are in for a rough ride. And, given the divorce statistics we’ve all heard, many, many couples need more help than they get.
That’s why Vicki Kennedy and I do what we do. We’re both couples therapists and, for more than five years now, we’ve been leading Hold Me Tight®️ couples retreats near Orlando FL. Hold Me Tight®️ is a two day experience for couples that helps them makes sense of what so often doesn’t. It’s rooted in attachment science and the tenets of Emotionally Focused Therapy, generally considered the gold standard for couples care.
Conflict is not just scary in a relationship; it’s confounding. Why and how do we get so stuck in these endless cycles? Why do we get so wound up? And why does it seem that no one else impacts us like our partner, the one we love more than anyone else?
A Hold Me Tight®️ retreat helps couples slow down, corral the Four Horsemen and begin to make sense of those raging cycles. And making sense of it is the best place to start. What we can understand, we can manage and change.
Wouldn’t you love to understand your cycle—and know how to interrupt it? Wouldn’t it be great, even in the heat of the moment, to turn toward your partner rather than turning away (or worse, turning against)?
Hold Me Tight®️ will show you how. In two days together, you and your partner can come to understand your moves in this dance of love. And even better, you can learn new moves. You can bring the Four Horsemen to heel and have a different kind of conversation…a conversation instead of a confrontation…a conversation that heals and comforts your heart.
A Hold Me Tight®️ retreat is not therapy. It’s a low key, two day experience with other couples facing the same challenges and seeking the same connection as you and your partner. Learn how much you and others have in common. You will get to practice new conversations in real time…conversations for connection. You go at your own pace. No one is put on the spot. We don’t twist arms. We don’t push you; we point you toward deeper, closer connection, which is what we all really want. You will leave with a road map for closeness that you never you could have…never knew how to have.
You and your partner really can get there. Get in on it today. Our next Hold Me Tight®️ retreat is in April. Join us in sunny Florida in the Spring and give your love a boost.