Stay or Go?

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Should I Stay or Go?

Should I stay or should I go? It’s one of those ultimate questions when a couple is in distress. When is it time to end a relationship? It’s a painful question and a consequential answer…far too complex to commit to a checklist of pros and cons. So many factors to consider: children, finances, past transgressions, future plans, dreams attained and dreams still to be. No two situations are the same and every couple must decide for themselves.

Grounds for Marriage

But, that said, a few things are true. Certainly, no relationship is perfect; all relationships wax and wane. Some seasons are better than others and, if we only plan to stay while the sun is shining, we are in for a rough ride. Someone said, “Every marriage has grounds for divorce. The trick is to find grounds for marriage.” And here’s the good news: generally speaking, research suggests that most couples who choose to stick it out, to stay together through the hard times, say that they are glad they did when they look back on it years later.

But, what does staying together mean?

Many couples just hunker down and tough it out. They close their eyes to their problems and think, “Maybe if we just don’t leave, we can survive.” So, they stay. But, they don’t enjoy their marriage; they endure it. They just tolerate one another, living in “neutral corners.” Life becomes an uneasy truce, if not a Cold War. That’s a marriage in name only. And bad things often develop in that setting: affairs, addictions, diversions of all kinds, virtual parallel lives where couples realize they’ve ended the marriage, but just never divorced.

We’d all agree that that isn’t healthy.

Find Your Connection

So, how do we find our way back to love? How do we find grounds for marriage? When we decide, “We’re in it for keeps, even though it’s tough,” how do we make it worthwhile?

That’s what a Hold Me Tight®️ couples retreat will teach you. Couples that thrive, not just survive, understand that the key to a lifelong, resilient relationship is connection—safe emotional connection where each partner knows that their partner is there for them. Each partner feels heard, seen, valued, visible. With that kind of connection, we will still face hard times, but we face them together. Knowing we’re not alone, that someone precious is in our corner gives hope and confidence that our relationship is worth the work.

The Science of Attachment

These are the lessons that attachment science has taught us. Hold Me Tight®️ is rooted in that science. Hold Me Tight®️ will teach you what all humans need and seek, what really makes relationships tick. Wouldn’t you love to understand better those conflict patterns that so often and so quickly escalate and leave you and the one you love alone and hurting? Wouldn’t you love to make sense of what so often doesn’t when you feel distant and disconnected? You can! You can actually have conversations, not confrontations, that will actually bring you closer, not cut you off.

Couples who learn the lesson of Hold Me Tight®️ have a roadmap that will help guide them through the tough times so that, years down the road, they won’t just be together, they’ll be closer…and glad they stayed. That can be you. Every couple wants that. Be one of the couples who learn how!

Our next Hold Me Tight®️ couples retreat is next month. Make your plans now to join us outside Orlando. Florida is beautiful in April!

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